Chasing Rainbows

4 Steps to Let Go of Anger

From a Presentation titled "Positive Energy," by Judith Orloff, M.D., we are given 4 steps to help us diffuse our anger. 

 Anger, an intense sense of displeasure and antagonism, comes from the Latin angere, "to strangle." We get angry at those who've harmed us, aggravated us, or let us down. We get angry at ourselves. At God.  Sometimes anger becomes a mask for fear or hurt; it also leads to resentments.  Anger is human, we all have it.   Anger is a toxic subtle energy. Seething in your system, it can eat you alive, or else dangerously erupt. Keep in mind: Those painfully polite churchgoing housewives turned ax murderers snapped from repressing anger, not from consciously expressing it.

Make changes now to disfuse anger that throws you off by following the 48-hour rule:

1. Quickly identify your source of anger. Impulsive, unconscious anger is the dangerous kind-it can hurt us, others, even break windows. To avoid unhappy repercussions, when anger hits, slow down your reaction. Immediately identify the cause, but don't go on the attack.

2. Give yourself permission to rant for 48 hours max. The worst thing you can do is squash anger: trying to contain this energy bomb will only explode your insides or cause you to passive-aggressively act it out. But now is not the time to confront the offender. For 48 hours, let lose and rail about the object of your anger by yourself, or with a therapist or friend. Doing so begins your healing by diffusing negative energy.

3. After 48 hours, start letting anger go. This means getting out of your ego (even if you're "right") and into self-preservation. Releasing anger is a process, but you can start now. I recommend writing in your journal to vent all the venom. Or keep praying to have it removed. Breather your anger out of the emotional energy center in the solar plexus; make sure it doesn't congeal. Take a few moments periodically to breathe calm in, and expel the toxicity of anger.

4. Express your anger to the offender. First, take a measure of the situation. If the person is nonreceptive, vindictive, or there's no positive gain (say with a tyrant boss), it may not be appropriate to express your anger directly. Instead use the above steps or minimize contact. If you think the person may be receptive, remember the goal is not to eviscerate him or her, but to get your point across and be heard...The offender may want to resolve differences or apologize. If not, don't fuel antagonism or engage in a power struggle. Stay firm and centered in the knowledge that you've expressed your truth. You might say, "I respect your feelings, but we have to agree to disagree. I'm sorry we can't resolve this right now."

Resource:  Beliefnet.com

The Courage Within Us

In a very enlightening article written by Karen Asp for Beliefnet.com, she points out that each and every one of us has all the courage we need, but just do not know how to bring it into play when we require it.  Read how we can become stronger individuals by employing skills and abilities that we already possess.

You don't have to be a world-class explorer or professional cyclist to have courage. Everybody needs it, but how do you get it, especially when you're like the lion before he discovered the Wizard of Oz?

As the lion had to learn, courage exists inside of you. You just have to dredge it up after years of burying it behind your safety zones.

The Inborn Courage in You

Everyone was born with courage. You may not remember learning how to walk, but you know you fell hundreds of times before you stood on your own. Learning to walk took courage. And you succeeded because you had little fear or doubt.

Eventually, that changed. Parents and other caregivers told you to be careful, to avoid dangers. Society, after all, values comfort over fulfillment. "We've been exposed to a barrage of messages that discourage us from being courageous," says Harold Bloomfield, MD, a Yale-trained psychiatrist and author of Making Peace With Your Past .

Your Adversity Quotient

As you grew up, you patterned your response to adversity on how people around you responded to difficulty. Paul G. Stoltz, PhD, president/CEO of Peak Learning International and author of Adversity Quotient , defines this reaction to adversity as the adversity quotient (AQ).

As a baby, your AQ is untested. By the time you're 12, thanks to your environment and situations you've faced, you've developed your AQ. "The higher your AQ," Stoltz says, "the better you're able to summon courage and tap your greatness in times of need."

Fortunately, your AQ can be strengthened.

Courage as a Necessity

Why do you need courage? Because courage will help you live your life the way you want. "Courage is learning to overcome fear," says Dr. Bloomfield, "and when you do that, you grow."

Today, courage is needed more than ever before. In polls that Stoltz conducted, 98% of people predicted more difficulty, chaos and uncertainty in their lives in the future. Stoltz says that 10 years ago, the average number of challenges people faced in a day was seven. Today, that number has risen to 23.

Linda Larsen, author of True Power , knows firsthand the power of courage. Over 20 years ago, she was kidnapped, raped and held hostage for over five hours. She summoned courage she didn't know she had and escaped. "My courage didn't let me down," she says. "Once you know courage is always in you, you can start learning to act more courageously in life."

Obstacles to Becoming Braver

There are, though, things that stand between you and your courageous self. Dr. Bloomfield lists the following obstacles:

• Fear of change . Learning how to be less controlled by your fears is one key to becoming more courageous.
• Either-or-thinking . You may think of yourself as a wimp and others as courageous, but there has to be a middle ground. You can live in a comfort zone, but you have to be willing to be courageous when it counts.
• Fear of failure . Failure is an important part of success, and being courageous involves being willing to fail at times.
• Lack of faith . Identify your self doubt so that you can act more courageously.
• Personal fears . These are fears such as fear of taking responsibility for your life; fear of self-discovery; fear of losing control; fear of moving forward; and fear of making the wrong decision. Know that you are bigger than your fears. Follow your instincts, and if doubts emerge, shove them aside.

Finding Courage in Times of Need

Stoltz says you draw courage from what matters to you. "The changes you're willing to make are the ones that have the greatest significance," he says. For example, if you've been offered a job that will force you to move across the country but you don't care about the job, you'll have a hard time finding courage to make the move.

Once you've decided what matters, then follow these suggestions for becoming more courageous.

• Recall previous times when you acted courageously. Did you move as a child and have to make new friends? Did you go away to college? "Focusing on times when you acted courageously will instill more courage in you," Larsen says, adding that you should also applaud yourself for showing courage.
• Shift your focus. Don't worry about failing or disappointing other people, Larsen says. Worry instead about failing yourself.
• Eliminate the words "wish," "hope" and "maybe" from your vocabulary. "These words erode your courage by filling you with doubt, fear or hesitation," says Dr. Bloomfield.
• Do your homework. If appropriate, know the obstacles you might encounter. Talk with other people who were once in your shoes. But remember that no matter how much you analyze the situation, you'll still have unknown answers. "Courage doesn't mean waiting to act until you have no fear," explains Dr. Bloomfield. "Courage means living with heart and doing what you want when you're scared."
• Surround yourself with courageous people , Larsen says. There will always be people who say never. Find people who support and believe in you.
• Imagine what life will be like when your challenge has passed. "Courage can come from seeing past adversity and knowing that although it may be horrible now, it'll get better sometime," Stoltz says.
• Give it your all but don't expect perfection , says Dr. Bloomfield. Don't give only 50%; then you can say later that you didn't succeed because you weren't trying that hard. To find courage, you must be willing to give 100%.
• Once you've acted with courage, assess your response , Larsen says. Did acting with courage move you forward? If not, figure out how you would behave differently next time. If so, then bottle that courage, reward yourself, and always remember this time when you acted with courage in spite of your fears.

RESOURCES:

Dr. Harold Bloomfield
http://www.haroldbloomfield.com

Linda Larsen
http://www.lindalarsen.com

Peak Learning
http://www.peaklearning.com

A Thought for Today

 "Every day is a new day of learning. We can excel and exceed our own standards by consistently upgrading our outlook and attitude towards those around us. Our position, our power, our status... nothing is permanent. What will remain in fond memories of those around us is not the altitude of our achievements, but our attitude, acts of kindness, and consideration towards others."   ( CV Varghese )

You have more Power than you realize

In a wonderful publication by Dr. Ben Lerner with Dr. Greg Loman called, "One Minute Wellness", they postulate that you have more power than you realize. Real wellness can only be attained through Maximized Living. Maximized Living though nurturing your body toward good health and trusting in that power is the only real medicine. It's healing, the only real cure. It's science, the only real future for real wellness.

God made your body with the power to overcome. Real wellness is anything that removes interference with your body's ongoing, natural balancing process. By restoring balance, you can reach your maximum level of health (optimum physical, mental, and social well-being), allowing you to get well if you are sick and helping you to stay well if you are not.

Let's define Maximized Living.

What does Maximized Living really include? At this point you know that it doesn't include the next blockbuster drug or plastic surgery. What it does include is exercise, a thoughtful diet, discovering a compelling purpose for your life, building strong relationships, and the use of nontoxic, noninvasive forms of health intervention, such as prayer, chiropractic care, supplementing missing nutrients, and rehabilitative techniques.

Maximized living is "real wellness." You now should realize that you must change your paradigm from an outside-in, mechanical, medical, or wellness model in which you fight or treat disease and symptoms to an inside, out, vital, real-wellness model.

In the new model you: build health as the best prevention and defense of disease, nurture a nontoxic internal environment for your cells, cooperate with the intelligent design of your body, and embrace care that corrects the cause of issues by removing interference or eliminating dis-ease-all of which is the inherent consequence of a natural lifestyle that respects your body and falls into alignment with the ultimate intent God has for your life. Remember: health and happiness is your choice 98 percent of the time and an ever present reality through the tools of maximized living.

Building Confidence and Peace of Mind

In an article by Susan Jeffers, Ph.D. she states that there are few of us who escape feelings of fear and self-doubt as we go about our life. Not to worry! We can all learn how to create within us a wonderful sense of confidence and peace of mind as we face all situations in our lives. ...  Here are a few tools to help us along the way:

1. Build your sense of trust in yourself. Your first task is to build the trust that whatever happens in your life, you can handle it all. Right now, think of something about any area of your life that is bothering you and repeat to yourself ten times the important words, "Whatever happens, I'll handle it." I suspect you will immediately begin to feel a sense of peace within your being. These are important words to have when the "what if's" come up. "What if I lose my job? I'll handle it." "What if I get sick? I'll handle it." "What if something happens to my marriage? I'll handle it." And what does "I'll handle it" mean? It means, "I'll learn from it. I'll grow from it. I'll make it a triumph!"

2. Do your very best, then let go of the outcome. To help you let go, develop the trust that "It's all happening perfectly." This calming affirmation is a shortened version of: "I've done my best, but even if things don't go the way I want them to go, I will simply find a way to be enriched by whatever life brings me. I will learn and grow from it all. Therefore, it truly is all happening perfectly." Repetition over and over again of this wonderful affirmation, will definitely quiet the negative chatter of the mind and help you let go of the outcome. Peace at last!

3. Stop complaining. Complaining is a big clue that you are not taking responsibility for your experience of life. Instead of seeing life's obstacles as problems, see them as opportunities, opening the door to growth. When you can control your reactions to whatever life hands you, you have the upper hand. You now have a choice: You can create your own misery...or you can create your own sense of growth and wellbeing. That's power! Every time you have the opportunity to stretch your capacity to handle the world around you, the more powerful and confident you will feel.

4. Yes, "Feel the fear and do it anyway." Often we think, "I'll do it when I am not so afraid." But in reality, it works the other way round. The "doing it" comes before the fear goes away. The only way to get rid of the fear of doing something is to go out and do it. Action is the key. Once you have done something you have feared a number of times, guess what happens...the fear of that particular situation goes away. And it's then time to further expand the comfort zone and move on to the next situation you fear. That's what growth is all about. And as your confidence builds, it will become easier and easier to "feel the fear and do it anyway!"

5. When making decisions, adopt the "no-lose" philosophy. The "no-lose" philosophy tells us that "I can't lose - regardless of the outcome of the decision I make. I look forward to the opportunities for learning and for growing that either choice gives me." Remember, if you learn through your "mistakes," there are no mistakes! In this way, the "no-lose" approach to decision-making guarantees that all your decisions will be the right decisions.

6. Know that you count. Know that your presence makes a difference. If you don't understand this very important fact, act as if you do make a difference! Just keep asking yourself the "act-as-if" question in all areas of your life: "What would I be doing if I were really important here?" Make a list and then take action. Soon you will "live into" the realization that you really are important.

7. Commit 100% to all areas of your life. That means when you are at work or with your family and friends, or meeting new people, or volunteering in the community...or whatever...give it all you've got, holding nothing back. When you commit to giving 100%, your sense of focus, excitement, participation, enjoyment, fulfillment, and happiness come alive. What a glorious feeling that is!

8. Say "thank you" a lot. Saying "thank you" is a wonderful way to make important connections in all areas of your life. The words "thank you" can also help you appreciate and focus on all the good that is around you, thus helping you release any feelings of anger and resentment you may be holding. You can see why the words "thank you" are two of the most powerful words ever spoken.

If you, step by step, begin incorporating into your life these tips, your sense of confidence and peace of mind will grow and grow. Remember: there is plenty of time...but now is definitely the time to begin!

Resource: Adapted from Susan Jeffers, Ph.D, 'Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway.'  Beliefnet.com

Copyright © 2006 Susan Jeffers, Ph.D. Adapted from 'Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway.

Ten ways to Bring Growth into Your Life

I stumbled across this absolutely enlightening article at Beliefnet.com written by Diana Holman and Ginger Pape. I thought to myself, "How simple is this?"  i decided to post it in it's entirety here today, giving them full credit because I believe it makes a lot of sense to try their suggestions if you feel as if your life is stagnating and you need to grow more.  Read on and enjoy!

Just as gardeners look for ways to promote growth in their garden, so, too, do people look for ways to bring more growth into their lives. Repotting is our term for how those who have outgrown the pot or container of their daily lives, are transplanting themselves into a larger growth environment. What happens to a beautiful, flowering plant that outgrows its container? If you don’t repot it, eventually it withers and dies.  Our book, Repotting: 10 Steps for Redesigning Your Life shows you how to rejuvenate your life by following our step-by-step process. No matter what your age, stage of life, or circumstances, you can benefit from the repotting process and philosophy. (Take the Repotting Test to see if you're ready for a change.)

Here are 10 ways that to bring more growth into your life as spring approaches:

1. Rethink Your Landscape. Adopting a new perspective is the first step to successful repotting. Just as some plants need a different environment if they are to thrive, you need to start thinking in new ways, too. Ask yourself: What is really important to me? What trade-offs do I need to make to bring more light and meaning into my personal garden? What will bring color to my landscape? For example, if you are constantly traveling for work, but missing important family activities and milestones, you could revisit career/family priorities, and after consulting with colleagues and supervisors, make adjustments to your travel schedule.

2. Realize That Planting Is a Process. Slow down and create time in your schedule to research new avenues for personal growth. Don’t be afraid of empty spaces. A friend of ours who cut back on her schedule immediately filled the open time slots with new activities. Remember to let “fallow beds” lie—don’t fill up your free time until you know what you really want to do.

3. Weed Your Garden. Take a disciplined approach to finding more time in your day for activities that offer opportunities for growth. Make a list of the “must do activities,” then eliminate non-essentials from your day or week. A woman who ran a successful event-planning firm cut back on the number of clients she handled in order to make time in her life for painting classes and choral singing—two long-lost passions.

4. Let in More Light. Your true gifts may be languishing for lack of sun. In order to grow and change, you’ll need to open your mind to new possibilities, set goals that challenge you, and take some risks. A lawyer we talked to was offered a partnership in her firm. Instead of following the safe path she had pursued, she opened up to explore a completely different lifestyle--that of becoming a pastry chef. Ultimately she quit her job, giving up financial security in favor of a less constraining life.

5. Tend Your Garden Regularly. Whatever you choose to undertake—whether it’s building a new career, volunteering, or pursuing a new hobby—do something on a daily basis to make progress. Be fully committed, so that distractions won’t take your energy away from the tasks necessary to achieve your goal. A woman who wanted to use her spare time to do personal writing found herself distracted by TV programs--until she decided to unplug the set from Friday to Monday.

6. Cultivate Your Dreams. To repot successfully, you need to let your mind run free to entertain new concepts, ideas and avenues. Unleash your creative side by visualizing a new future for yourself. A mother of four, who had spent 20 years raising children, allowed herself to visualize a new identity. In the process of helping an exchange student living in her home, she discovered a talent for counseling troubled youth. She allowed her imagination to take her beyond her current role of stay-at-home mother to that of a therapist for adolescents.

7. Water Your Roots. Find the core values that motivate you. Make sure the life you are living is in sync with your deepest values and priorities. If not, see what you can do to realign it. Let’s say you feel the lack of spirituality in your life, but aren’t sure how to find it. For two of our repotters, the answer to spiritual fulfillment lay in serving non-profit community organizations. Two others, however, took a religious path: one started a Bible study group, and the other entered seminary and was later ordained.

8. Don’t Forget Fertilizer. When you expand your knowledge, you expand your options. For personal growth, ongoing learning is crucial. You can seek self-enrichment in a variety of ways and venues, whether to pursue a hobby or gain new credentials for a career. The stimulation of learning fosters new growth and change—and acquiring knowledge and skills can happen at any age. A middle-aged stock market analyst decided to go back to school for an M.B.A. so that she could start an entrepreneurial venture with her grown daughter.

9. Plant a Sample Bed. Until you try a plant in your own personal garden, you won’t know for sure if the conditions are right for growth. If they’re not, you can always rip it out and start again. Embrace trial and error. A woman running her own real estate appraisal company took training to see if she would like to become a massage therapist. While she enjoyed the nurturing aspect of this profession, she realized she couldn’t do it fulltime. She continues to run her company and sees massage clients on weekends.

10. Get Input from Other Gardeners. Tap into your network—family members, friends and colleagues—who may be able to give you feedback, advice, information and emotional support along your journey. As you benefit from the advice of others, you may also find that you’re helping someone else along the way. Among the many blessings of repotting are the social relationships you build along the way. An accountant we met wanted to change fields. She consulted her family, professional friends, and people who had known her throughout her life. This research reconnected her with long-lost friends, deepening current friendships and building new, rewarding relationships in her new field.

Resource:  10 Ways to Bring More growth into Your Life, by Diana Holman and Ginger Pape:  Beliefnet.com

Learn to Burn Brightly--Not Burnout

In a post on a blog called "Simple Truths," I found an article regarding maximizing our energy level.  It was written by Jim Cathart and he states that in order to manage our energy we need to find the pace at which we perform best. This is the "zone" at which we are most creative, unstressed, happy, and productive. He defines the "zones" as follows:

Above The Zone:

First you experience stress and frustration, then anxiety, and finally burnout. At this level you are overwhelming yourself with too many things to accomplish at one time. Lighten up a bit to get back on track.

In The Zone:

You are at your best. Not stressed, going with the flow of work naturally, productive and self assured, challenged but not overwhelmed, motivated and able to roll with problems.

Below The Zone:

First you experience boredom, then apathy, and finally depression. You feel useless and artificial; self-esteem suffers. Bite off more and take greated challenges to get back on track.

Finally, protecting and replensihing your emotional energy is critical for every leader. Mira Kirshenbaum, in her book The Emotional Energy Factor, offers a refreshing, down-to-earth approach:

First you plug the leaks: learn to recognize what drains your energy…life situations, toxic people, or habits such as worry, indecision, or guilt. Second, you identify what fills your tank - pleasure, solitude, anticipation, or fun - and give yourself more.

Resource:  Mondays with Mac: Burn Brightly Without Burning Out, posted March 24th, 2008 Simple Truths.com

Unhealthy Toxic Relationships

When God wants to bless you, how does He do it? He sends people into your life. When the devil wants to destroy you, how does He do it?  He sends people!

There are several types of relationships that are liabilities, not assets. If you are going to develop healthy relationships, you first must cut off the unhealthy ones you have developed. How can you tell if a relationship is toxic?  Here are three major indicators:

 Constant Strife and Division. First, there will be constant strife and division. Amos 3:3 asks us, "Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?" A healthy relationship is one in which there is a oneness of goals, purpose, values, and beliefs. God's Word also says, "Where envy and self-seeking exist, confusion and every evil thing are there" (James 3:16).

 People Who Knew You "Back When." One of the most dangerous relationships is the one that holds you to your past. The Bible tells us that when Jesus went to his "own country," He taught, and the people were astonished, but they were also "offended" at Him because they kept saying, "Isn't this the carpenter's son? Isn't this the son of Mary and the brother of James, Joses, Simon, and Judas? He can't possibly have all this wisdom and do these mighty works. We know Him. He's just one of us." And Jesus could do no miracles there "because of their unbelief." It wasn't that Jesus had lost any power in Himself. He wasn't any less of who He was in his home country. It was because of their, unbelief that He could not manifest the fullness of Himself (see Matthew 13:53-58).

The associations of your past can drag you down and hold you back. They can keep you from fulfilling your potential.

 Violators of the Heart. These are relationships that prey on your heart and rob you of control over your life. Don't give power to any person to manipulate you and control you. Nobody deserves that power but God! No person can make you lose your joy, your mind, your temper, or any other aspect unless you give that person the power. Don't do it!

The most dangerous violator of the heart is the person who tells you what you want to hear. It is the person who strokes your ego and tells you words of affection that you are desperate to hear, all in an effort to get what they want from you.

Violators take advantage of the "needs" in your life, especially the needs to be loved and accepted. They aren't concerned about your blessings or your destiny. They are concerned only about what they want. They are takers, not givers.

Never lose your identity for another person's sake.

Never compromise your character for anyone.

The Steps to Cutting Off an Unhealthy Relationship

First, you must identify and accept the reality of an out-of-balance relationship. At times, you need to take stock of the situation and admit to yourself that a relationship just isn't working. All of your efforts at helping or rehabilitating a person have failed. It is at that point that you need to give that person over to God. Notice that I didn't say that you give up on the person. To give up is to walk away and say, "I don't care what happens to you." To give a person "over to God" is to walk away as you say, "I have done all that I can do. I'm entrusting you to God from this point on."

Second, don't try to be God to another person. There's a huge difference between helping a person and carrying a person. You aren't the Holy Spirit. Don't enter into an enabling relationship in which you come to feel totally responsible for a person's success or failure.

Third, become comfortable with criticism. If you do have to end a relationship, not everybody is going to be happy with your decision. For that matter, not everybody is going to be happy with you at any point or regarding anything! There's always going to be somebody who wants you to do something other than what God is leading you to do. Nobody can please all people all the time, everywhere.

Fourth, progressively end unhealthy relationships. It takes emotional energy to end a relationship, and if you cut every unhealthy relationship out of your life at one time, you are likely to be overwhelmed by the loss. Cut unhealthy relationships out of your life one at a time until you can look around you and say, "All of my relationships are ones that are pleasing to God. All of my relationships are ones in which there is a mutual give-and-take, a mutual blessing, a mutual edification. I am on the same wavelength with those who are close to me when it comes to values, beliefs, and goals."

Fifth, don't burn bridges. When you dissolve a relationship, don't do so in anger or bitterness. There is a way to walk away from a relationship without words of hatred or criticism or the placing of blame. At the same time, walk away from an unhealthy relationship with the full intent that you will not revisit that relationship in the future. God may lead you to have a relationship with that person down the line, but you should not have the intent to come back to the relationship. Make a clean break. Make a definitive break.

Find the people who are starving for what you offer! Find people who want who you are, what you give, and what you celebrate.



Resource:  Walking Away from Toxic Relationships, by Paula White:  Beliefnet.com, Christian Inspiration.

Loving Yourself

How often do we hear that before we can love another, we must learn to love ourself?  It is true...the secret to finding true love begins with you.  According to Reverend Laurie Sue Brockway, we need to nourish ourselves daily--body, mind and spirirt--treat ourselves like goddesses or princes everyday.

Reverend Brockway postulates that we are stingy with ouselves, yet so often willing to give to others. We need to set aside time each and every day just to "pamper" ourselves....a date with oneself is a powerful metaphor for self-nourishment.  it is the first and most important step toward a balanced, loving relationships with others.

So, where to begin? Imagine there is someone in your life you can depend on to pamper, heal and revitalize you, and treat you royally -- for at least a few undisturbed hours each week. Now, imagine that "someone" is YOU. Pick something that would bring you great pleasure -- an activity, an experience, or a material gift -- and agree to give it to yourself.

Start off with something simple. Try a "self-love bath." Crown yourself Queen or King for a Day or for several hours a week -- and pamper yourself. Buy beautiful candles, scented oils, flowers. Draw a bath. Play relaxing and sensual music. Slip into the warm water, daydream and allow yourself to bask in the energy of love. It truly creates an impression in your own mind and spirit that you are someone who deserves royal treatment and who is willing to receive it! I cannot tell you how much a simple act of self-love will bring you closer to receiving pampering from others. At the most basic level -- a nice warm bath with candles is very relaxing and it gives you a chance to meditate. and get a new perspective on life.

How do I love me, let me count the ways. Other simple delights include: light a candle and relax in a favorite chair for 15 minutes; take yourself to a movie, out to dinner or to a museum exhibit you've been meaning to see; buy yourself a small gift. The best way to keep your soul nourished is to create an ongoing environment for this nourishment.

Date yourself regularly: Many of us take time out for ourselves just once in awhile and neglect to create the foundation for ongoing revitalization. Why not carve out time and put things in order so that you can access these experiences of self-love and care, regularly. This may mean keeping your favorite bath oil and candles on hand at all times. or ensuring that you have several hours a week alone, to yourself. Think of it this way. if you were dating someone special, wouldn't you go out of your way to make dates and focus attention on the relationship? Do it for yourself, first. this sets the groundwork for others to treat you like the goddess (or prince)  you are!

Resource:  How Do I Love Me?  By Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway:  Beliefnet.com

Begin Again

I came across this wonderful short article at Beliefnet.com, written by Bob Perks, Inspiration writer.  It caught my eye because, like many of you, I am going through some tough times right now.  Perks advice may seem amazingly simplistic, but I have to admit that it perked (no pun intended) me up a bit.  Perks states that he finds more and more people turning to him because of lost jobs, failed marriages and diseases.  His words of advice are:  Begin Again!  He puts it rather nicely....read:

To begin again means that you won't give up.
To begin again means you're trying.
You can either start over and live your life
Or spend the rest of your life slowly dying.

It is never the falling that makes us fail.
It is never the pain or the crying.
You can never fail in life, my friend,
Unless you give up trying.

Perks reiterates that It almost sounds too simple.  He states the following, "I imagine in the darkest hours of one's life, those words would seem useless or uncaring. But it is indeed the answer."

All life challenges bring about an ending--and the chance for a beginning. A job loss presents an opportunity to start over somewhere else and maybe even in another career.

A failed marriage does not mean you are through loving or being loved. It means there are others just like you needing to be loved. Find them.

A life-threatening disease does not mean giving up. It means starting a new path to recovery and discovering within yourself the ability to fight back and win.

And if you are a person of faith, even death does not mean it's over. It means "to begin again."

Resource:  Beliefnet.com