October 10, 2007

Sexual Headaches: Truth or Excuse?

In a very interesting article at beliefnet.com titled: Sexual Headaches: From Ecstasy to Agony by Cindi Myers, Ms Myers postulates that while many people use the excuse of having a headache to avoid lovemaking, there are also a number of individuals for whom lovemaking actually CAUSES the headache. Read her article below and tell me what you think of her study.

Physical and Psychological Effects

People suffering from benign sexual headache—also known as benign coital headache, orgasmic headache, or orgasmic cephalgia describe sudden, intense pain near or at the moment of orgasm. The pain remains intense for 5-15 minutes, though some people report pain lasting as long as several hours or two days. Pain can occur with intercourse or masturbation, and may happen infrequently, or every time a person approaches orgasm.

Benign sexual headaches can appear suddenly in persons who have never had them before, though persons with a history of migraines—particularly men over 40—seem more prone to them. Nevertheless, men and women of all ages have reported suffering from these peculiar headaches.

When the first headache strikes, the sufferer stops copulating or masturbating and rests quietly in agony, explains David C. Haas, MD, professor of neurology and headache specialist at State University of New York Health Science Center at Syracuse. Most are worried that they might have something seriously wrong in their heads, and many seek medical advice soon afterwards.

In addition to the pain of benign sexual headache, the experience can have a traumatic effect on your sex life. Imagine an invisible presence lurking in the bedroom, waiting to hit you in the head with a hammer at the moment of climax. Imagine how, left untreated, benign sexual headaches can change one's quality of your life.

Types of Benign Sexual Headaches

Benign sexual headaches can be classified according to their causes or according to what the sufferer experiences.

According to the National Headache Foundation, the cause can be either:

  • Muscular. Muscle contraction in the head and neck associated with sexual excitement
  • Vascular. Increased blood pressure in the blood vessels in the head during intercourse

Sufferers experience three types of benign sexual headaches:

  • Dull. The dull type of headache starts as a dull ache that intensifies with increased sexual excitement and gradually subsides once sexual activity ceases. People with this type of headache may not even make the connection between their pain and sex, and are less likely to seek medical help.
  • Explosive. The explosive type of benign sexual headache is characterized by sudden, intense pain just before or at the moment of orgasm. This is the type most often seen by doctors.
  • Postural. This type is rare. Like explosive sexual headaches, postural headaches begin with intense pain at orgasm. The pain then subsides, but reoccurs when the patient stands up.

Determining a Cause

Doctors haven't determined the exact cause of benign sexual headaches, though they are classified with other headaches brought on by exertion, such as the exercise-induced headaches sometimes experienced by joggers and weightlifters. In fact, one study of 30 patients with benign sexual headache found that 43% of them also experienced other exertional headaches.

Because migraine sufferers are more prone to sexual headaches, some doctors believe sexual headaches may be related to vascular changes brought on by physical activity, such as exercise and sex. Other researchers believe stress and fatigue may contribute to or trigger the onset of benign sexual headache.

No Immediate Treatment

While you are experiencing benign sexual headache, there is little you can do to ease the pain. Analgesics such as ibuprofen or acetaminophen have little effect once the headache begins. Time and patience seem to be the best remedy. Dr. Haas advises the sufferer's partner to be patient and understanding. Being appropriately concerned for your partner's strange attack must be better for the sufferer's mental state than indifference or annoyance, says Dr. Haas.

Treating It Before It Starts

Fortunately, treatment to prevent a recurrence of benign sexual headaches is both simple and effective. Your doctor will first want to rule out other, more serious causes of head pain, such as hemorrhage of a blood vessel in the head. A physical exam will reveal symptoms of hemorrhage, such as stiff neck, change in pupil size, vomiting, or pain that persists for more than 24 hours. If any doubt exists as to whether or not a hemorrhage has occurred, your doctor may order a CT scan.

Options for prevention include:

  • Abstaining from sex: Once your doctor has diagnosed benign sexual headache, he may prescribe a period of inactivity. Abstaining from sex for a period of two or three weeks often eliminates a patient's predisposition toward recurrence of benign sexual headaches.
  • Medication before sex: Some people find that taking an over-the-counter nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drug (NSAID), such as ibuprofen, prior to sexual activity can prevent benign sexual headaches. If abstention or ibuprofen doesn't work, your physician may prescribe a short course of propranolol (Inderal). Twenty to forty milligrams of propranolol taken twice daily for 2-3 weeks usually puts an end to benign sexual headaches.

Though painful and sometimes frightening, benign sexual headache doesn't mean an end to a satisfying sex life. Understanding and proper treatment usually lead to a permanent cure.

RESOURCES:

Headaches associated with sexual activity and exercise. State University of New York--Upstate Medical University website. Available at: http://www.upstate.edu/neurology/haas/hpsxex.htm.

Milne R, More B, Goldberg B. An Alternative Medicine Definitive Guide to Headaches. Future Medicine Publishing; 1997.

National Headache Foundation
http://www.headaches.org

July 11, 2007

Demything "Safe"Sex

I found this article to be quite interesting and as a therapist, I tend to agree with Perel's tenets set forth in this article regarding her book.

There’s no such thing as safe sex, argues Esther Perel in her book "Mating in Captivity: Reconciling the Erotic and the Domestic."

Because in order for the sex to be good, and desire to live in a relationship, there needs to be an element of risk or adventure or suspense. Perel debunks the assumption that good sex follows intimacy--the philosophy among therapists that if a couple works on their communication and on various aspects of their relationship, that fireworks will then happen in the bedroom. She views sexuality and emotional intimacy as two different animals, who speak two separate languages.

In her work with couples, Perel has worked with wives who’d rather be labeled as libido-less or having low sexual desire than have to explain to their husbands the importance of foreplay; people so desperate to fight the deadness they feel in their relationships that they’d risk it all for moments of forbidden excitement in an extramarital affair; older men who can’t accept their unresponsive penises and rush out to buy Viagra; guys who surf porn not because their wives aren’t desirable but because their wives never express any enthusiasm or interest in sex; and lots of men and women who know that they are loved but want so badly to be desired.

"For those who aspire to accelerate their heartbeat periodically, I give them the score," Perel writes, "excitement is interwoven with uncertainty, and with our willingness to embrace the unknown rather than to shield ourselves from it. But this very tension leaves us feeling vulnerable. . . . The challenge for modern couples lies in reconciling the need for what’s safe and predictable with the wish to pursue what’s exciting, mysterious, and awe-inspiring."

The way we do that, she suggests, is by maintaining our "otherness" or autonomy in the relationship. The mistake so many couples make, according to her, is trying to fuse into one person, to take the stability and the familiarity too far in their relationship, so that there are no secrets or mystery of the other person to discover. "When intimacy collapses into fusion," she writes, "it is not a lack of closeness but too much closeness that impedes desire."

Her philosophy of separateness before connection is fascinating:

Love rests on two pillars: surrender and autonomy. Our need for togetherness exists alongside our need for separateness. One does not exist without the other. With too much distance, there can be no connection. But too much merging eradicates the separateness of two distinct individuals. Then there is nothing more to transcend, no bridge to walk on, no one to visit on the other side, no other internal world to enter. When people become fused—two become one—connection can no longer happen. Thus separateness is a precondition for connection: this is the essential paradox of intimacy and sex.

"Eroticism resides in the ambiguous space between anxiety and fascination," Perel writes.

Resource: Beliefnet.com - Therese J. Borchard